I Dare You To
by COMPLETARE
Summary: Mello and Matt are challenging each other to do some dares, but then Matt makes a dare that frightens Mello. He had never failed this game, so why would he now? NearxMello, Mello & Matt friendship
1. Courage

i do not own death note or any of the characters.

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Mello was laughing uncontrollably. The image of Matt's face after he had eaten two spoonsfuls of tabasco sauce was just _too good. _

"Sometimes I really hate you" Matt groaned after drinking a gallon of milk to stop his mouth from burning alive.

Mello wiped his eyes off the tears of laughter and patted Matt on the shoulder.

"Well, it's my turn next so you can have a payback"

Matt managed to grin as he put the half-empty milk bottle back to the fridge.

"Yeah, that's true. What could I think of…." the red-head jumped to sit next to Mello on the kitchen table. He placed his fingers of the both hands against each other like some kind of evil genius and started to conceive the next big dare.

Mello wasn't worried at all. They had been playing the same game for years, and not once had Matt figured a dare that Mello couldn't accomplish. The rules of the game were simple; one challenged the other to do something incredibly stupid, dangerous or plain funny, and if the other had the guts, he'd do it. Matt had refused few times; once when Mello dared him to drink five ounces of ketchup ("_you are sick")_, once when he had dared him not to play with his xbox for a day ("_It's not an addiction, it's a life choice!") _and once when he wanted him to steal a toy robot straight out of Near's hands ("_yeah, even I'm not that crazy")._

But Mello had never failed, not once. He'd implement every single one of Matt's stupidest dares. He couldn't think one dare that he couldn't do. Still, it was nice to give his best pal a little hope.

They had done some pretty absurd stuff that day. First Mello had to go and sit on a warren next to the port of the iron fence surrounding the house. In the revenge, he made Matt run naked through front yard. That went on for a while. Then Mello had to climb on the top of the great oak growing in the backyard. Unfortunately Roger saw him through the window, and they were dragged inside and banned from going outside for the rest of the day.

Game continued indoors. It was great fun, though the other orphans didn't quite think so. They all abandoned the playing room after Matt and Mello had been there fifteen minutes, after all their toys and books somehow had been dragged into their game. Well, actually, Near probably wouldn't have left his precious puzzles, but Mello dared Matt to throw him out of the room. It would have been more enjoyable, if Matt hadn't apologized before closing the door, but it still left Mello smiling.

Now the thought of Near just made him angry. That stupid sheep-boy managed to get on his nerves almost ninety percent of time. He was like some freaking angel, with his white hair and perfect grades.

To Mello he was more like a demon from hell, sent to destroy every dream Mello had of becoming the next L. He just _had _to be the best in everything, he just couldn't let Mello be the first.

Well, one time Near actually had offered to fail on purpose. Mello still remembered how he had yelled to Near, told him that he didn't need his pity. Near had just shrugged like it really didn't matter.

That was the thing that Mello hated the most about him. In addition to all, Near didn't even seem to care about being the number one, the top successor of L. It was like he had no emotions. He was just an empty, lifeless doll.

And no matter how much Mello hated him, It didn't seem to affect Near. Mello broke his toys, mocked him, made fun of him in every way possible. Near just continued to play with his dumb toys. It was unbelievably frustrating. Every now and then Near may had said something sardonic in response, but that's all. There was no mutual feud, no _real _fights, because if it was to be a fight, the other party should have fought too.

"….Are you even listening, blondie? Mells? Mellsmallow?"

Matt's voice brought Mello back from his thoughts. His best friend was staring at him with the most ominous grin on his face.

"Don't call me Mellsmallow, dickhead." Mello snapped as he slid off of the table.

"Sure, Melly-boy"

"You're going to hell, Matt"

"Red-heads have no soul, Mell-Mell" Matt said cheerfully.

"I'm pretty sure that's gingers, and now shut up and get to the point. What were you saying?"

Matt tilted his head and brought his forefinger to his lips, playing dumb.

"So which one do you want me to do, shut up or tell you what I was saying?"

Mello slapped Matt on the back of his head, but Matt just laughed.

"Fine, jeez, don't go all butt-hurt, princess. Yeah, okay, back to the business. I have managed to work out a magnificent dare for you!" Matt jumped off the table and grinned dangerously joyfully.

Mello only raised an eyebrow. He wasn't really concerned about the dare. He had never failed, and Matt wasn't actually wicked enough to dare him to do something that he would refuse.

"Bring it on" Mello said as he bit a piece off of chocolate bar, which he always kept in his hip pocket.

Little twitch of concern ran through his spine, as Matt's smile widened further.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, Matt, I'm ready, just spit it out!"

"Fine then. I…dare you to go and kiss Near"

Mello wasn't sure if he'd heard right.

"Say what again?"

"…on the lips!" Matt finished and started to wait for reaction.

He didn't need to wait long. Mello wasn't quite the calm type, and since he took their little game seriously…

"You can't dare that!"

"Yeeeeeees I can!"

"But –but that's not how the rules go!"

"That's exactly how the rules go. You dare and see if the other one has the balls to do the dare."

"I- I am not going to kiss that freak! No fucking way! Change the dare, Matt!"

Matt just smirked convivially. Mello stared at him with so murderous glare, that a weaker man would have hidden and fast. Unfortunately Matt was so used to that, that he just stared back, obviously satisfied for making up a dare that Mello might not accomplish.

"You can't expect me to do it!" Mello burst out finally.

"Sure I can. Or are you scared? Having Near's saliva aaall over your mouth" the other boy cooed.

Mello felt anger boiling inside him.

"No, but that's a fucking stupid dare and I'm not going to do it!"

"Then you have no choice but give up your chocolate for two days. Sorry, Mells, but you invited the rules"

Mello cursed in his mind. That was true. If the other one wouldn't do the dare, he had to give up his object of addiction for two days. Matt had his cigarettes and Mello had chocolate. When Matt had refused, he had made sure that Matt wouldn't smoke for two days. It was torture to Matt, and this would be torture to Mello, if he didn't do the dare.

Matt had ran him to an dead end. He had his personal pride and chocolate against little kiss with Near.

How bad it could be?

But the thing that made Mello so nervous, was that he actually didn't think it would be so bad. It made Mello almost climb the walls, but when he thought about kissing Near, he had the stupidest little tickle in the bottom of his stomach.

Why would he react that way? He didn't think Near was … attractive or something. Damn it, he didn't think Near in _that _way!

Mello grew mad at himself. He didn't care about it. It was just Near, why would he care? He would just have to go there, kiss the albino-freak and leave.

"_Fine!_ I'll do it, you sick bastard. And you will regret this when it's my turn to dare!"

Matt grinned cheerily and ruffled Mello's hair. The blonde slapped the hand away before turning to the door.

"Go get him, tiger!" Matt laughed behind him.

Mello wanted to make himself believe that he wasn't nervous, but he couldn't escape the fact that his hands were slightly shaking

* * *

Mello found Near in his room. Well, he didn't really expect him to be elsewhere, since he never spent time anywhere else than in his own room and playing room, which the orphans probably thought was still conquered by Mello and Matt.

Mello didn't knock the door. It was open, so Near could only blame himself if visitors weren't wanted. But then again, Near probably hadn't much visitors anyway.

The pale boy didn't even wince when Mello entered into abnormally light room. _Seriously, didn't that guy accept any other colour than white? _Everything was white or light grey. It would have looked sterile like a hospital rooms, but it had toys all around it.

Near stood up from the ground where he was apparently building a card tower and turned to face Mello.

"Mello" he greeted, with no emotion in his monotone voice.

"Near" Mello closed the door behind him and then focused on Near again. "You don't seem really surprised, lamb-boy."

"That may be for the fact that I heard your steps from the hallway. I can't imagine how you have ever done your misdeeds without getting caught, since your walking isn't actually the quietest."

"Shut up, Near."

He had a hard time trying to keep his eyes on Near's. The white-haired boy looked exactly the same as every other day, but now Mello found it really difficult not to look at his white hair or colorless lips. Had his hair always been so wavy and soft-looking? And his skin so smooth? It was almost like a marble….

"I assume you have a reason to come here, Mello?" Near's voice cut through his thoughts. The pale boy had his normal motionless expression, security walls up in his mind.

Mello felt annoyed again. What the heck was he thinking? It was Near, his rival, that stupid, annoying angel-boy who had beaten him in everything.

"Of course I have a reason, cottonball. This isn't in fact my favourite hangout place" Mello rolled his eyes at him.

Near kept his face still, and Mello continued staring at him, suddenly wordless. What should he do now? Could he just walk to him and kiss him? Or should he ask a permission?

_Like hell I'm going to ask a permission from him_

Mello started to slowly walk towards Near. He could only imagine what went through the albino's head. Why the heck was Mello here? Why wasn't he talking? Should Near be worried? And now, when Mello started to walk towards him, Yes, Near should be worried.

That much Mello could get out of the boy's grey eyes. He started to back out, as Mello got closer.

"….Mello…" Near's voice was now worried. He probably had no idea what was going on, and that gave Mello great satisfaction. The boy in white pajamas had suddenly no room for backing, when his back hit the wall.

"….What are you doing?" Near asked glancing a way to escape.

Mello enjoyed the image; confused Near, driven into a corner, nervously twirling a curl of hair around his fingers . It made him seem more human.

Mello pressed his hands on the wall, caging Near in between.

Now Near's eyes were rather panicky. Mello almost never got this close to him, almost never attacked him physically. Mello preferred to break his robots and mock him with dumb nicknames. They had never actually fought. Mello had sometimes, rarely, kicked or hit him. Maybe two or three times. And now Mello had Near back against the wall.

"Are you going to assault me?" Near swallowed hard, trying to keep his eyes on Mello's blue ones.

Mello didn't grin, like he normally would. He got stuck staring at Near's lips. It was stupid. They were the same as always. Then how come that Mello never noticed how mellow they looked?

"No." he answered finally.

Near frowned, confused.

"In that case, I do not understand how keeping me pressed against the wall would help you in your intentions."

Mello bit his lips, growing yet again nervous. As Near's confidence came back, his started yet again to fade away.

He had to do it, right away, before he'd back out.

Mello didn't think twice as he slammed his lips onto Near's.

Near stiffened. The blonde pressed him tighter against the wall, letting his hands slip into his hair.

He hadn't expect it to be so…pleasant. The albino's lips were soft and moist and warm, and it felt like Mello could keep doing it for the rest of the day.

Then he remembered, that it was just a dare. He couldn't keep doing this. God knows what Near was thinking.

And quickly Mello pulled back, missing already the tingling sensation which had started to grow in his stomach.

Near had his eyes open, and lips slightly parted. He looked completely shocked. His cheeks were blushed. Grey eyes had become darker, and the boy had a strange gloss in the corner of his eyes.

Before Mello had time to say anything, Near had pulled him back by his shirt and pressed his lips against Mello's.

Now it was the blonde's turn to get surprised. Near pressed himself against Mello's body, wrapped his arms around his neck.

It felt good. It felt _so_ damn good.

Mello closed his eyes and kissed back passionately. Near let out a little moan against his lips, making Mello almost lose his mind.

He slid his fingers through Near's hair, as his other hand grabbed the boy's hip. He was so close, and he felt so hot and fervent against his body. Mello would've never thought that Near could make him feel this way. Everything about it seemed to be right.

Mello curiously touched Near's lips with his tongue, demanding entrance. White-haired boy parted his lips, and met Mello's with his own hot tongue.

The blonde growled deeply. He felt so good, emotionally and physically. Near made his heart pound hard against his chest. He would've probably heard Near's heart too, but the boy whimpered and moaned pretty loudly.

Mello couldn't know how long they did it, but it still felt like too little.

"Woah, Mello, I dared you to give him a kiss, not to take his virginity!" Matt's voice broke the bubble where Mello had been floating.

He and Near separated so quickly, that it almost felt like they'd been practicing it. Mello felt an urge to grab Near back to his arms, but he knew that the moment was gone.

"Though it didn't seem like Near would mind…." Matt smirked at them, and Mello would have given anything to shut him up. But he found himself wordless, like Near had taken his speech away while they were kissing.

"….a dare?" Near asked, voice a bit hoarse. His cheeks were still flushed, but his face had become yet again an emotionless mask.

Matt raised his eyebrows.

"Of course a dare. Don't you think that it would be pretty unlike Mello to willingly make out with his rival?"

"….Yes…doubtless. It was quite obvious, since you were playing your dare-game at playing room too." It sounded more like Near was talking to himself than Mello and Matt.

Mello tried to catch Near's gaze, but failed. The pale boy just stared at the floor, clearly thinking through his thoughts. For a moment Mello just watched him. He didn't know what he felt. This was his rival. What the heck was he thinking?

Mello couldn't let his emotions get over him again. It had felt good for a moment, and now the moment was gone. Mello would get over it.

He turned back to Matt and grinned.

"I did it, fuckface, and you're going to be begging me to change the next dare, or you won't see your cigarettes for two days!"

Matt grimaced and disappeared from the doorway, leaving Mello alone with Near, who still wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Leave, please. I have to get that card tower finished." Near's voice was so cold, that Mello almost had shivers.

Mello freezed at place for a moment, and then rushed out the door. His thoughts were all messed up. He hated Near, didn't he? Then why had the kiss felt so good?

_Hormones, _he thought, _nothing else than stupid puberty with stupid hormones. _

And with that, he wiped the matter out of his mind.


	2. Denial

Near was avoiding him. Mello was dead certain about it. Week had passed from the day they had kissed (or "_the day you almost got Near pregnant" _as Matt preferred to call it), and Mello had been in the same space with the albino like half a minute at a time.

At first, he didn't see him anywhere. When Mello and Matt passed the playing room on their every-morning-disaster-tour, Near wasn't there in his usual place playing with robots or cards. Matt hardly noticed, but it bothered Mello a bit.

Later that day Mello and Matt went there again, and there he was, building a castle with dices. He looked absolutely normal, doing his usual stuff, making crap out of other crap. But then he noticed Mello, and somehow his blank expression turned even blanker. When Mello next time glanced at his direction, the pale boy was gone.

Near's behavior continued the whole week. Normally Mello probably wouldn't even had noticed, but now…

Every time Near saw Mello, he didn't make any eye contact, and when he accidentally did, his look was ice cold. Soon he was gone again, and Mello didn't see him the rest of the day. That annoyed as well as concerned Mello. What the heck was wrong with him?

….Why would he care? Near was still his rival, still his enemy number one. But Mello knew he was lying to himself.

No matter how hard he tried to forget about the kiss, it just popped on his mind in every possible situation. That frustrated him like hell. It was rather hard to concentrate on Roger's lectures, when all he could think was Near's tongue against his.

It wasn't like Mello _liked _him or something. It was just hormones. Or at least that's what he tried to convince himself to believe…

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"Seriously, summer is nearly over! If I can't finish this stupid level before the studying starts, I swear I'm going to throw this game in trash were it clearly belongs!"

The red-head slammed the controller like it had done some personal harm to him. Mello didn't answer.

"Are you even listening, honey bunny?"

Mello didn't lift his gaze from the playing card he'd been ripping. Matt sighed loudly next to him, and Mello could see with the corner of his eyes that he put his xbox controller aside. The blonde frowned.

"You don't have to stop playing, Matt." he said as he dropped the card pieces on the floor and started ripping another one.

"Yeah I kinda have to, my best pal's needing professional's help"

Mello scowled, still not meeting Matt's eyes. "What the hell are you talking about? I don't need any help!"

"Then why are you tearing Near's card deck?"

Mello finally raised his head, just to look at Matt like he was an idiot.

"I don't know if you have missed something, but I have been breaking his stuff since forever"

Matt rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to be cheeky, Mells. That's not the point. The thing is, you could have set the deck on fire, or just tear it in two, instead of ripping every card in pieces one by one."

Mello felt his defense walls getting up.

"I had nothing else to do! You're just sitting there and playing your stupid games again! I was bored!"

Matt raised one eyebrow.

"I asked you to play with me"

"Why would I want to play with you? You always win, you fucker" Mello spat.

"Why won't you just stop arguing and admit that this is all about Near?"

Mello froze for a second, then spoke coldly.

"Why would 'this all' be about that white-haired cunt?"

It was quite amazing how well Matt could resist Mello's icy tone. Mello had once spoken to a few years younger orphan with that voice after he had accidentally eaten Mello's last bar of chocolate, and the poor kid still started to shiver whenever he saw him. Matt again did not care a single bit.

"Well, you surely have noticed that he's been oddly out of sight lately."

"Seriously, Matt, why the fuck would I care?" Mello's voice started to raise.

Matt made a thoughtful face and pretended to think hard.

"Hmm…. jeez, Mello, I don't know, maybe because you have a crush on him"

Once again within a month, Mello found himself wordless. He just stared at Matt, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. Matt stared back with a smug expression.

"NO I DON'T! what the fuck, you asshole? no I don't!" Mello finally found his voice.

"Yes you do!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"I. DON'T. LIKE. HIM! SHUT UP NOW OR I'LL MAKE YOU!" Mello's scream was louder than he meant it to be, but it at least it worked on Matt.

But now Matt was starting to be serious, and Mello didn't like that. It was easier to argument with him when you could take his words as a joke. Now he certainly didn't look like joking.

"Fine. Then, would you tell me why you made out with him?"

"You dared me to, dumbass!"

"No, I dared you to _kiss _him, not snog him."

Mello couldn't think anything to argue with. He could of course say that Near was the one who started the snogging, but then Matt would ask why didn't he back away.

"It was an accident" Mello hissed through gritted teeth.

"Just admit it, Melly. You would do him. Actually you _want to_ do him. You would _pay_ for doing him, and then you'd do him again."

"SHUT UP, MATT! Maybe the kiss took longer than necessary, but it doesn't prove anything!"

"Really, Mells? Really? You have been weird whole week!"

"No I haven't!"

"First of all, you gave me the lamest dare after you threatened to make out something really horrible. You made me steal a chocolate bar for you!"

"I-I needed that fucking chocolate at the moment!"

"Yeah, right. Like you didn't have the previous left. And you've been quiet and abstracted. Plus you keep breaking Near's stuff, which of course is what you always do, but now you take a good time doing it. I think you do that because you're mad at him for avoiding you"

Mello cursed in his mind. Maybe Matt wasn't as intelligent as Mello or Near, but he certainly understood people better than them. In social problems Matt was the genius one. And no matter how much Mello would argue, Matt new always better than him. He couldn't outsmart Matt in this. That didn't stop him from trying, though.

"I hate him! You know I fucking hate him!"

"You don't. You just wish you would." Matt smirked at him.

"He's annoying, selfish, arrogant and emotionless little brick and I FUCKING HATE HIM!" Mello screamed the last words right at Matt's face.

"Right, you hate him like everybody hates puppies"

Mello frowned. "Nobody hates puppies"

"Exactly."

"Oh my fucking god, Matt, I'm going to-" the sound of the door opening cut Mello's sentence off.

A boy in white pajamas stood at the doorway, staring at them. Mello and Matt froze.

"I was just looking for my cards-" Near noticed the tatters on the fool "-oh. I see you've found them."

The look in Near's eyes was freezing. Mello bit his lip, suddenly feeling guilt about destroying Near's toys. He had broken few toy robots and one puzzle during the last week but hadn't actually seen Near's reaction, since the boy was shunning him.

_Though it isn't actually a reaction, _Mello thought bitterly, _since his face is as blank as usually. That damn freak._

"Um, look, we're sorry. I'll pay those for you." Matt finally broke the silent.

"I don't assume you to do that, Matt, since you didn't shred them" Near said quietly, and with that he left, closing the door behind him.

Matt let out a sigh of relief, but Mello felt awful.

The worse thing having a best friend that had awesome skills with people's feelings and so? He could read Mello like an open book.

"I could help you if you'd just admit it…" Matt smiled innocently.

"I have nothing to admit, you dumb fuck. I hate him…." _….don't i?_

Matt seemed to get tired of arguing. He just shook his head, like Mello had disappointed him.

"You are obsessed with him"

"No I'm not."

"You never pay any attention to anyone else than him. And it goes other way around too. Only social interaction Near has is almost always either with you, Roger or me. And me only when I'm with you."

"I – we- he's my rival! Of course I have to observe him, so I can keep the distance between our grades as small as possible"

"More like the distance between your tongues, am I right?"

"NO! Shut up, Matt!"

"No I won't. Look, Mello, I am going to explain this to you once, and then I'm going to shut up. Okay? Good. Because you think you hate him, right? Have you ever even considered, that maybe, in fact, you were just trying to put your feelings into a shape you understand more. Because anger is easy for you, right? Love and stuff like that isn't…"

Matt watched Mello for a moment, but when he didn't talk, he continued.

" Or maybe you're just confused for having so many feelings towards him. It's quite clear that you're jealous of his first place as a successor to L, but then again, you like him. You just want to think that you hate him. And maybe you hate yourself for liking him, and that makes you angry with him too."

Mello was silent. He didn't want to admit it, but Matt was right. He liked Near. And he hated liking Near. Still he couldn't help it.

And the worst part was that he had destroyed every possibility for Near to like him in last years. He had been such a dick to the boy, that it was no wonder he gave Mello cold looks.

Finally, after long pause, Mello opened his mouth.

"He probably hates me" he said quietly.

Mello had half-expected Matt to mock him for admitting it, but his best pal just shook his red-haired head. Of course it wasn't like Matt to actually tease him for it.

"No he doesn't. Before last week I would have said that he, um, well, is kinda curious about you, but now I know he likes you."

Mello raised his eyebrows.

"Talk, goggle-head"

"Well, remember the day you almost got Near pregnant?"

Mello poked the guy with his elbow.

"He liked it. Seriously, I heard the moaning to the hallway. You guys are lucky that Roger didn't pass by, or you'd been screwed. Though if I hadn't pass by, you could have had screwed anyway –OUCH, now that wasn't necessary" Matt groaned and rubbed his upper arm which Mello had punched.

"Yeah it was."

"Yeah, maybe. But anyway, like I was saying, right after he heard that it was just a dare, he got really cold and distant. I think he got hurt about it. Though you can never tell about him, with that creepy pokerface. And then he started avoiding you, because seeing you after the kiss would be either too confusing or hurting . Isn't it obvious? He likes you! But the problem is, he is just as good as you at admitting one's feelings. Which means he sucks, if you didn't get that."

"…yeah, right." Mello sounded bitter even in his own mind.

"You want me to do a list? Fine. First: he always notices when you're in the same room-"

"-who wouldn't? I am pretty loud, you know"

"-And when you talk to him, he sometimes even lifts his gaze from his toys. He never does that to anyone else"

"Listen, Matt, thanks for trying to make me feel better, but you seriously need to shut up."

Matt sighed loudly and turned back to his game. Mello just buried himself deeper in the sofa, thinking his ridiculous feelings about Near.

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" You know, it's my turn to dare, isn't it?" Matt said after a moment of silence (excluding the noises that came from the game)

"…what do you want me to do, then?" Mello asked tiredly.

"Go talk to Near."

"…about what?"

"You choose the topic. But it has to be a real talk. Like real sentences. And minimalize the use of nicknames, okay? Now off you go, Charmer"

Mello sat there still about fifteen minutes, then finally picked himself up and left to find Near.

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* * *

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It took a while to get the courage to knock the door. He stood stiff, staring at the door handle for good three minutes.

Fortunately Near was there. The blonde heard silent steps getting closer and closer, and then the door opened.

"Mello" Near said with his monotone voice. He didn't sound surprised, which made Mello really think about lowering the noise of his walking.

"Snow white" Mello sneered as he walked past the albino to the room, and then turned to face Near. He noted that the boy didn't close the door. That annoyed him more than it should.

"What is it that you want?" Near asked , curling his hair with thumb and forefinger.

_What do I want? Well first of all, your lips against mine would be okay_

"i…um…" Mello didn't know what to answer. Matt had only ordered him to talk to Near. Mello knew what he wanted to talk about, but he didn't actually have the guts to speak up his mind.

As he shifted uncomfortably from leg to another, the rest of Near's cards fell on the floor from his pocket. Just his luck.

Near frowned and looked Mello in the eyes.

"You have to stop breaking my belongings, Mello."

"Oh yeah? Or what?" Mello heard himself talk. Damn it, the attitude had rooted so deep inside him that the answer came naturally.

"Or I will tell Roger, and he'll make you pay them and probably takes your chocolate away for a week as a punishment" Near answered.

Mello narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I'm not afraid of you, Mello. And I certainly will report Roger if you touch my property again"

"Not afraid of me?" Mello growled and took a menacing step forward. "Then why have you been avoiding me lately?"

Near backed at the same rate with Mello, in seconds standing in a doorway.

_So that's why he left the door open_, Mello figured, _so he could have a way of escape if he felt threatened. _

The boy was smart, as always. Planning his moves far before the action hit.

"You can't blame me for not wanting to be around you. No matter how emotionless you think I am, I still do not approve you disturbing my doings by breaking every card castle I make or stealing every toy robot I play with" the albino didn't sound defensive, but that could all be just an act.

Mello was now genuinely pissed. Near's excuse was convincing, but if it was true, then it meant that Matt's theories weren't correct. And it hurt Mello to think about that, now when he had admitted it.

So he made his next move.

"Then tell me this, Near. Why did you kiss me?"

Mello scrutinized Near's face closely, wanting to see every reaction he had to offer. It seemed like Near had expected the question, since he didn't even flinch.

"It was mere impulsive act caused by testosterone and oestrogen –surely you have paid attention on human biology class, Mello."

_Oh. How clever. So he blames the hormones too. And sounds far more persuasive than i._

But something still bothered Mello. He didn't know what made him the most sure that the sheep-boy was lying: little blush that had spread through his cheeks, the fact that he didn't meet Mello's gaze, or that the explanation came out so clear, that it sounded like he had practiced it.

Near obviously saw the suspicion in Mello's face because his expression hardened and grey eyes started to narrow slightly.

"You don't have to worry. I am not interested in you in any way, If that matters. My attitude towards you is indifferent. And if that was all you wanted to discuss, I hope you leave now. I have to find a new deck of gaming cards." Near said with icy tone.

Mello felt anger and hurt boiling inside him. His attitude was indifferent?

Mello was right all along. Near couldn't care less about him. How had he been so stupid?

_I hate him. I have lived with him being my rival, and I will continue with him being my rival. It's no big deal._

But it felt like a big deal. It hurt. Stupid feelings, stupid Near.

He had always suffered for his emotions. He had too many and too much, and he couldn't deal with them all at the same time.

So he did what he knew best. He turned them into an anger. Rage was what he knew how to handle. It was familiar and safe.

"I hate you" Mello spat as he pushed Near out of his way, leaving the white-haired boy's light room.

"I know, I heard you." Near said behind his back.

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Mello almost walked right at Matt in the hallway. His best friend grabbed furiously cursing Mello by his shoulders and looked at him with worried expression.

"Hey, what's wrong? Didn't he-"

"You were wrong. Now shut up and leave me alone"

And before Matt could have said a word, Mello rushed to his room and locked the door.

_He heard us talking there,_ Mello thought as he pressed his back on the door and slid to sit in front of it. _ and he heard me yelling I hated him._

.

Mello wrapped his arms around his knees and curled into a ball, trying to hold his emotions in.

_I wonder how he can do it. Not letting them out, keeping all his feelings, thoughts and moods by himself. Maybe that's why he's better than me. He's stronger._

_So much stronger._


	3. Trouble

Mello hardly saw Near next few days. He avoided the playing room and every room he thought Near might be in, fearing to see the paler boy and the possibility of the pain in his chest growing.

He had seen Near last week only a few times, but now that they both shrieked each other, the probability of having to see each other was low. And it was fine by Mello.

He shut the whole thing out of his mind. No matter how much Matt wanted to hear about their conversation, Mello wouldn't tell. It felt better to just forget it. Near obviously didn't care, so why should he?

So Mello focused on having a good time with Matt.

Right now they were on the back yard, sitting under the oak tree. It made a nice shadow to keep them cool under the burning sun. The summer was way too hot for Mello, since he never wore anything else than black, but he still didn't want to be indoors no matter how pleasant the temperature there was. Outdoors was completely Near-free area. The albino almost never went out.

Mello leaned his back against the tree and felt more relaxed than he'd been for a long time. He and Matt had found a bag of old water balloons in Roger's desk drawer, where he kept the stuff he had confiscated from the children.

The day was sweltering, so why wouldn't they take them for good use?

Mello filled the balloons with water hose, then passed them to Matt who tied the points and put them into a basket, which they had also borrowed from Roger.

Their working place was great; no one inside the house could see them, because the oak was on the way. The poor unsuspicious children who walked at the yard would have a nice cold splash of water thrown at them, if they were unlucky enough.

"Hey Matts, what do you think is the likelihood of getting to irrigate Roger?"

Matt pouted his lips in a thoughtful way as he put another balloon into the basket. It was starting to get full.

"Hmm, since this is the day he does paperwork upstairs...it's maybe five or six percent possible. He doesn't really take breaks and we have probably used all our balloons by the time he's finished. Too bad, "

"Damn. Well, at least we have more balloons to throw at other kids."

Matt smirked. He seriously loved doing this stuff.

"Don't say it like it's a bad thing for them. We're just cooling them in this burning weather. We're the good guys here. Saint Matt and Savior Mello."

Mello rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but smile too.

"Okay, that was the last one" the blonde said and put the water hose aside. Matt knotted the balloon and put it with others.

"Now all we need is victims. I mean poor sweltering orphans."

"Matt, we're not on their side"

"Don't be silly, of course we are. Now all we have to do is wait"

Mello changed his position and settled down to lie on the grass. Matt stretched next to him.

The sky was completely blue, or at least the part of what they saw of it. It was beautiful and peaceful and unbelievably hot there.

Mello sighed. No matter how much he tried to concentrate on the beautiful weather, he couldn't help himself not thinking about Near. Why was it so hard?

Near probably didn't think about him. Or if he did, he probably thought that Mello hated him. But that didn't of course matter to him. His attitude towards Mello was indifferent.

_Indifferent. Like what? He didn't care if I'd exist?_

Matt seemed to sense Mello's mood, like he always did.

"…hey, Mells?"

"What?" Mello asked, closing his eyes.

"Why did you say that I was wrong with Near? Not wanting to brag or anything, but I'm never wrong about these things"

Mello smirked. "You don't want to brag? You're the biggest show-off I've ever known."

"Nice try changing the subject. Are you going to tell me or not? It has been like three days. I'm your best buddy, you can trust me"

"…I know. Ugh. Fine." Mello consented. He exhaled deeply before opened his mouth again. "He said that he has no interest in me. And that his attitude towards me is indifferent."

"_What? _He seriously said that?" Matt exclaimed, unbelieving.

"Yeah" Mello's voice was quiet. Matt's amazement was kinda comforting, like he'd thought it'd be, but it was still hard to talk about it. _"Yeah, I was rejected by white-loving child genius albino, no big deal"._

"What did he say _exactly?"_

"I..i'm not sure…something like, 'don't worry, I have no interest in you.' And he said that he kissed me only because of hormones. So you were wrong."

"Wait- _he _kissed _you_?"

"Shut up, Matt" Mello hissed and got up to his knees.

"Did you just say that _he _kissed _you, _and not the other way arou-" Matt couldn't finish the sentence, because Mello had slammed his hand to his mouth.

"no, I mean it, _shut up! _ I can hear somebody!"

Matt fell silent, and they both heard noise. People were talking on the front door. Finally, victims for their cooling device.

Matt pointed at the water balloons and then at the tree. Mello nodded silently and climbed up. He found a suitable place to sit and then reached to get the basket Matt handed him. After they got the basket safely up, Matt clambered to sit next to him.

"What are they saying?" Matt whispered.

Mello cocked his ear. "Something about fresh air….health….vitamin D….Oh, it's Roger. Probably forcing kids out for the lunch time. Wouldn't be the first time."

"Look, they're coming."

Orphans started to spread around the back yard.

Mello was quite pleased with their hiding place. They could see easily around them, but no one could see them, unless they'd go to the top, where branches were sparse.

They started to look for a prey.

.

"Wow, Roger made Near come too" Matt susurrated to Mello.

The blonde got his eyes instantly on the white dot that was moving towards them.

"Why is he coming here? Can he see us?" Matt marveled.

"No. He wants to get in the shadow. It's damn hot here"

And few moments later Near sat on the root of the tree and leaned his back on it.

It was really weird to see him there, all casual in his white pajamas and messy hair. Mello hadn't seen him since yesterday, and it had last for twenty seconds. Now the boy was right under him, carrying a toy robot and an apple, which Mello supposed was his lunch.

Matt looked at Mello in a weird way, but Mello didn't say anything. Near would have heard If they talked. They were so close to the ground, that they probably could've dropped down on the other side of the tree without Near noticing.

They watched in a silence as Near put his apple and robot aside and started to look around. His gaze searched through the yard, as if he was looking for someone. He stopped after a while, and then he just seemed to stare at one point, thinking.

Matt poked Mello on his arm. The blonde turned to look at the direction Matt pointed.

Two kids, maybe a bit younger than Mello and Matt, were walking their direction. Mello identified the other one; Stan or Steve or something. The boy definitely thought too much of himself. Mello had seen him few times picking on juniors, since he didn't dare to fight someone his own size.

Mello and Matt shifted a little, as the boys came closer. They both saw were this was going.

And as they thought, the twosome stepped straight in front of Near.

As it was typical for Near, he didn't lift his gaze, nor did he anything else to show he noted them.

"Hey, freak" Stan or Steve sneered.

"Stuart" Near greeted, eyes still landed on the ground.

_Right, Stuart. What's that stupid twit up to?_

Stuart mumbled something to his friend, and they both grinned before turning back to Near.

"You know, aren't you a little old-" Stuart picked up Near's toy robot "-to play with these?"

"I did not know there was an upper age limit for toys" Near answered with a passive tone.

Stuart raised an eyebrow, clearly bemused about not making any reaction. Mello wondered if they'd done this for how long time. He never thought that Near could be picked up by some other people than him too, and now that he saw it …. even though Near seemed unmoved about the situation, Mello didn't like it at all.

"You are childish. No matter how smart you think you are, you're just a kid. You play with toys!" Stuart tried again.

"I am childish, I play with toys and I am what some people would call 'smart'. Is this going somewhere?"

Near's completely disinterested tone didn't please Stuart or his friend. They glared at Near with furious expressions.

"Right. You're childish. So are you going to cry when I do this?" Stuart broke the toy robot's arm with one tiny snap.

Mello felt anger boiling inside him. No one except him had the right to destroy Near's toys.

_Who the fuck he thinks he is?_

But when Near yet again showed no emotion, the guys got mad. Before anyone could even blink, Stuart had thrown the toy robot straight at Near's face. The albino cried out and raised a hand to touch his cheek where the robot had hit.

"Look at me when I speak to you, you ugly weirdo!" Stuart yelled and lifted Near by his collar.

Mello almost jumped down to shove Stuart's stupid face up his friend's ass, but he was prevented by Matt. His friend had a tight grip on his shoulder, and Mello understood why he did it.

What would it have looked like if Mello went and kicked his ass? Everyone would think he'd do it for Near. Near would _know _that he did it for him. And that kind of humiliation Mello wouldn't stand. Everyone thought that he hated Near, and he had no intention to change that. He just had to wait and see how things were building up.

"What was it that you came for, Stuart?" Near controlled his voice unbelievably well all things considered. His cheek was bleeding and getting to swell.

"Actually I just came to take your lunch, but now it seems like I have to teach you a lesson as well"

Mello had his attention immediately in the apple that was still lying on the grass. His thoughts ran fast, as he came up with a plan.

Lightning-fast he took a bar of chocolate out of his pocket, and as the boys had all attention on Near, he dropped it next to the apple. It gave a little sound as it hit the ground, but with all the noise in the yard, the guys didn't seem to notice.

"Kyle, take our food on safe. This is going to be messy" Stuart said to his grinning friend, eyes still on Near's now slightly worried face.

As Mello had expected, Kyle picked up the apple –and the chocolate bar. Mello turned to Matt, who looked at him like a genius. He gestured Matt to climb down on the other side of the tree, and fortunately Matt understood. Mello went straight after him, and after they got the water balloons, Mello walked the tree around.

"Tell me, where do you want me to hit first…." he saw Stuart breathing at Near's face. "Stomach, nose or balls?"

Near shivered and closed his eyes, ready for the stroke.

"DID YOU BRATS FUCKING STEAL MY CHOCOLATE?"

Near's eyes flew open. Stuart and Kyle turned to see Mello, who looked rather intimidating with his furious expression .

It was well-known fact in Wammy's house, that if you did something to annoy Mello, for example steal his chocolate, you were lucky if you weren't hospitalized. Mello and Matt weren't exactly bullies, but in the younger's eyes they were big and scary. You didn't mess with them.

Now the bullies looked frightened. Stuart let his hands drop off Near's collar, and Kyle took a flurried step back. Near looked the chocolate in Kyle's hand confused.

"Y-your chocolate, M-Mello?" Kyle stuttered.

"We h-had no idea it w-was yours! We thought it was N-Near's" Stuart cried, as Mello narrowed his eyes.

He was so pleased to get to scare those idiots, who tried to assault Near. No matter what the boy thought of him, Mello didn't want him to get hurt. So he looked at the two guys with his most murderous glare. The fearful look in their eyes gave Mello the greatest pleasure.

"Have you fuckfaces ever, even once, seen Near eating chocolate? " Mello growled.

Again they backed off.

"We didn't m-mean it! This must b-be some k-kind of a m-mistake!"

"We're s-sorry!"

"I don't care. Give me my chocolate." Mello spat. Kyle handed the chocolate immediately to him, as well as the apple too. Mello just dropped them to the ground, not letting his gaze fall from the boys.

Then, with perfect timing, came Matt with the basket full of water balloons filled with icy water.

"What do you think, Mells? Should we give them a reward for finding your chocolate?"

Mello grinned maliciously.

"Absolutely."

.

.

Matt threw the last water balloon at Kyle's back, and laughed as it exploded. The two boys were soaking wet, cold and shocked, but Mello felt no pity. He had fun splashing every single one of the balloons at their stupid faces.

"Now, what have we learned today, children?" Matt asked as he grasped them up by their sleeves.

"W-We won't t-touch M-Mello's chocolate. Ever a-again." Kyle stuttered, now probably from the cold.

"Good boy. Now if you'd be a little bit better boy and help your friend Stuart to clean up those remains of water balloons, would you?"

"Y-yes, of course."

Matt gave a pleased smile and let go of their shirts. As the boys started to pick up the pieces, Matt and Mello turned to view Near. The boy hadn't moved a bit. He was eyeing up to the tree with a thoughtful expression. The wound in his cheek didn't look so bad now that Near had wiped the blood on his cuff.

"Let's go, Mello. I'm hungry." Matt said after noted Near to be okay.

"Yeah, let's go see there's ice cream on the kitchen."

With that they turned around and left. Mello could feel Near's gaze at his back.

"How much do you think we have time before they go and bitch about us to Roger?" Mello asked after they'd gone outside their earshot.

"Maybe ten or fifteen minutes. Let's get going, we have to get a good hiding place. Oh, and Mello…"

"What?"

"You're still going to have to discuss with me about the sheep-boy kissing you"

.

.

* * *

.

.

Several hours later Mello and Matt had found a perfect hiding place. It was deep in the library, surrounded by three huge bookshelves. They could only be seen on a certain angle, but that didn't really concern them.

Like they had expected, the little bullies had ran to Roger immediately after they had left. Now the older man had searched for them for some time, but as usually without result. Matt and Mello had to just wait for him to stop seeking in library and then hide there.

Matt muttered curses under his breath, playing with his handhold game console. Mello sat next to him, leaning against one of the shelves. They had been there for a while now, and Matt's patience started to grow short.

"I don't want to be here for the rest of the day." he groaned. "And if I lose this level again I will fucking –AAAAAH, goddamnit!"

Matt started cursing again, this time louder, and then he put the console in his pocket.

"You know what would be wonderful? A cigarette. I want to smoke." Matt continued whining.

"Do you want Roger to find you with cigarette in your hand? Like we weren't in big enough trouble already"

"Yeah, you're right. Anyway, I have to use the bathroom. And this has nothing to do with smoking. Nope. Absolutely not. Be right back." Matt jumped up, and Mello laughed.

"Fine, go ahead, but don't get caught."

Matt winked at him and vanished through the gap.

Mello continued reading the book, focused on the patterns and diagrams, trying to get as much information as possible. Knowledge was something useful, and thank god he had the intelligence to gather it.

He had gotten absorbed in the text, because he heard the steps when they were only few meters away.

"Wow, that didn't last long-" Mello lifted his head and cut his sentence immediately.

For his surprise, the person who came in wasn't Matt, as he had expected.

"How did you know I was here?" Mello asked Near before the boy could say anything.

The boy looked at Mello with an impassable expression. He was so damn hard to read sometimes, and that frustrated Mello beyond the limits.

"I came across Matt, and he told me where you could be found" Near respond.

"Oh." Mello only said.

They looked at each other silently for a moment. No matter how hard Mello tried not to find Near attractive, he couldn't help but enjoy staring at the boy's pale face. His grey eyes seemed to have darkened, and looking at them felt like looking into an abyss. He tried to catch some emotion in them, but failed as usually.

Suddenly Near shifted and Mello noticed the chocolate bar in Near's hand. It was the same he had left on the back yard.

"I only came to give this back to you. And thank." Near handed the chocolate to Mello, but he just stared it without accepting.

"Why would you thank?"

"You stopped Stuart from beating me" Near said simply.

Mello turned his gaze to the ground as he started to feel his face heating.

"I didn't do that for you. He stole my chocolate."

"Irrelevant. He would have abused me without you, therefore I own you a thanks."

Mello lifted his eyes to look at Near, and noticed that he was still reaching the chocolate to him. He frowned.

"You're welcome. And you can have that."

Near looked slightly surprised for a moment. He took a look of the chocolate. It was Mello's favourite, and he wasn't sure if Near knew that. It probably have meant something if he knew.

"But…I don't eat chocolate." Near said quietly, turning his attention to Mello again.

Mello raised one eyebrow.

"Why? Don't you like it?"

"…No. I mean….I have never actually tasted it, so I wouldn't know."

"_What?_ You have never tasted chocolate?" Mello looked at him, taken aback. "Then taste it. Right now."

The look in Near's eyes was uncertain, but Mello wouldn't let Near get off with this. He took the chocolate out of the albino's hand and split a bit to Near.

"There you go, eat it." he commanded.

Near looked at him straight in the eyes as he slowly put the chocolate in his mouth. His lips looked so tempting that Mello had to use all his self-control to not to go and kiss him right there and then.

_Why are you doing this to me? Can't you see how hard this is already…._

Near raised his eyebrows a bit as the chocolate started to melt in his tongue.

"Well? What do you like?" Mello asked.

Near frowned.

"It…tastes like you" he said.

Mello felt ridiculous tickling in his lower stomach, as Near started to blush.

"I-i mean...of course you taste like chocolate, since you eat it all the time."

"Yeah." Mello replied, rather abashed. "But you didn't answer my question. Did you like it?"

"It was quite…strong." Near said, staring at the floor, still glowing red.

Mello fell silent for a while. He wasn't sure which they were talking about right now; the chocolate or their kiss.

"So was that yes or no?"

"I...Yes, I liked it. Quite much, actually."

He felt like the situation was growing too tense. He couldn't stand it. Near was there, suddenly showing some kind of emotion and Mello couldn't figure out what it meant. So he liked the kiss? Or was he just talking about the chocolate, and Mello just overthought everything?

He was so frustrated with himself. Didn't Near thought he didn't matter? Wasn't Near 'indifferent' with him? Mello just wanted to get out of it. He didn't want to hurt himself again, because the pain of their latest conversation still felt strong.

"I know, chocolate's great" Mello said suddenly with a hardened tone and jumped up. "I need to find Matt."

Near raised his eyes to look at Mello, obviously surprised by the change in his voice. The blush in the boy's face started to wear off as his face became blank again.

"Right." The boy moved to let Mello pass him. When the blonde was next to him, Near suddenly grabbed his arm. Mello stiffened.

"Just for your information, next time you might want to throw a few water balloons at me too. Stuart and Kyle are not complete stupid. I heard them talking about how the chocolate all of sudden appeared next to my apple, and they wondered about your great timing too."

"Don't worry, next time I'll punch you" Mello gritted through his teeth, not at all liking Near's suggestive tone. It was like…like Near knew that he'd done it for him, and mocked him for it.

And as the boy let his hand fall, Mello ran away.


	4. Realization

"I am really disappointed in you! They could have gotten pneumonia because of this!" Roger yelled at them the very next day. Mello and Matt stood quietly in front of Roger's desk, as the older man kept upbraiding about their horrible behavior.

"This institution is meant for bright young orphans, but you two are acting like five-year-olds! Beat up two children for chocolate bar?"

Roger pressed two fingers on the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, as if he had got too tired of having the boys there once a week. Mello and Matt glanced each other worried; they had not intended to cause Roger headaches with their actions, but that's just kinda was in their nature. Getting into trouble.

" I could give you a punishment again, but what would be the point?" Roger sighed. "You would continue right were you left. Penalties never seem to affect you…."

Mello would have felt guilty, without the fact that he had just tried to help Near. As much as it was unpleasant to see Roger weary, he would rather have that than had let Near get mistreated.

"So it is. No punishment for this time. Matt, you can go now"

"Can I-" Mello started, but Roger shook his head before the sentence was finished.

"No, Mello. I need to talk to you with other things." the man shot a sharp look on Matt, who still stood unsure at the doorway. "Matt, close the door after you"

Matt casted apologizing look to Mello before leaving the room. In the moment the door closed, Mello turned his gaze back to Roger. The man was studying his face with an expression that made Mello uneasy. What would he want to discuss about? Had Mello done something bad lately, that he'd forgotten? Certain albino had messed up his thoughts so much that he couldn't remember.

"Mello, I know you're smart boy, brilliant actually" Roger started "and a talented liar too. But now I need you to be honest with me this time. Would you do that?"

"I…yeah. What is it?" Mello answered.

Roger made a little pause, before meeting Mello's eyes with glance of worry in his own.

"Near has been rather melancholic recently. I wonder if you have noticed"

Mello responded his gaze with blankness in his eyes. Near's upset? Why would he be upset? _Could _that guy even _be_ upset?

_Maybe. He just controls it better than me, _Mello thought, _not letting it show. But if he doesn't let it show, how could Roger had noticed and not me?_

_but we have had seen each other so seldom lately, that I wouldn't actually know…._

"He has?" Mello just responded. It was easy just answer the question with another question, if you didn't know what to say.

"Yes, indeed he has. In fact, I found him at his room yesterday, crying."

Mello was dumbfounded. Near, crying? It couldn't be. Near was the one with no useless sentiments or fierce changes in the moods. Mello was the one with stupid, raging emotions.

He couldn't imagine Near crying. When he thought that, his mind just showed an image in which Near stared blankly at emptiness, probably the boy's own soul.

"Doesn't sound like him." Mello replied, trying to make his voice as disinterested as possible.

"Mello, I am only going to ask this from you once, and after that you're free to go. Did you do something that could have made Near inconsolable?"

_Have I done something that made him unhappy? Have i…..? _

Deep inside his mind he knew the answer, but he wasn't ready to accept it. He didn't want to feel the pain just yet.

"No" he said with a confident tone "I have barely seen him in last weeks. I broke his deck, though, but I am sure that he wouldn't cry for that."

"I am sure of that too. You can leave now, Mello. I truly hope you were honest saying that you aren't the reason for this issue." Roger said with a bit relieved tone. "And you will have to buy Near a new pack of cards."

.

.

* * *

.

.

"You own me few explanations, blondie"

Mello frowned at Matt, who stared at him on the other end of the couch. They were on the playing room, kids all around them, and Matt wanted to talk about personal stuff here? Typical.

"Not here, Matt" he hissed.

"Jeez, these kids are not spies, Mells. I just need to know few things, since after what you told me about Near crying and stuff. What did you mean about him kissing you? and of course you've got to tell me everything about the conversations between you two"

Mello sighed. It would be easier just answer Matt and then leave the topic forever. Just to get the painful matters out of him as soon as possible.

"Fine, come closer"

After few seconds of struggling (in which Matt jumped into Mello's lap and the blonde tried to strangle/push him away) Matt was sitting next to Mello, who started telling all it all from the kiss to their chocolate-tasting last night. Going through the memories was rough, but it was kinda relieving at the same time. At least he had always Matt there, listening and supporting him.

Soon he had answered to Matt's questions, but that didn't stop his pal making new ones.

"So you're saying that he heard you shouting that you hated him? And after that he said that he doesn't care for you?"

"I…yeah, I guess so."

Matt looked at him with an expression that meant nothing but _you've got to be kidding me._

"I can't believe how it is that for so intelligent guy, you can sometimes so be fucking stupid." Matt lifted his hand to facepalm.

" What? Are you mocking my intelligence?" Mello felt both angry and confused. He had no idea why Matt was reacting like this.

"You're both idiots. God, where would you be without me?"

"Stop showing off and explain!"

"Okay. Fine. I'm going to explain some stuff for you, and you better listen this time, dumbass. So, you had just kissed a week before. Near's confused and hurt, because he thought you kissed him just because of the dare."

"I did it just because of the dare, and _he_ kissed _me_ after that!" Mello commented.

"Oh please, you wanted it. And yes, that made it even worse, because he probably felt humiliated, you know, kissing you and afterwards finding out that it was just a challenge. So, he started to avoid you, or more like his own feelings. You guys do that a lot. Then, a week later he couldn't find his deck, so he put his fears away for a moment to see if you had them –just to get heard that you hated him."

Mello felt worse by every word that he heard. He couldn't believe them, partly because that would had meant that he believed that Near had feelings for him, partly because that would had also meant that he had hurt Near in a horrible way.

"Don't get depressed, buddy." Matt patted his shoulder. "That explains perfectly why he said that he didn't feel anything for you. He was _really_ hurt by then, so he defended himself. Didn't want to feel any pain again. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Near has feelings too. He's actually _a_ _human. _Sorry, my bad."

"Just continue, smartass."

"Okay, so then you got hurt about what Near said, and you kinda doubled the damage by saying that you hated him again. So everybody was hurt, sad, blah, blah, blah."

"You're a heartless bitch, Matt" Mello muttered.

"No, I just can't believe you two. The world's biggest geniuses right after L, misunderstanding everything the other one says or does. Well, expect, yesterday. We saved Near. As you probably figured out already, Near knows that we helped him on purpose. The thought gave him a bit of hope, that maybe you didn't hate him as much as you claimed to. He had the courage to come and give you the chocolate bar back. Then he hinted that he liked your kiss. And then you were a fucking coward and tried to back off the situation. I am sorry, Mells, but what the heck were you thinking?"

Mello got slightly red, but his thoughts and feelings were so messed up at the moment that he didn't even know if he blushed for anger or embarrassment.

"I…i…it wasn't like that! I thought he was talking about the chocolate!"

"No you didn't"

Mello bit his lips and tried to clear his thoughts.

"….no I didn't. I don't know what went in me. Maybe if I had said something…but then he got all arrogant again…."

"Well, yeah, you were leaving him there embarrassed again, what would you expect? Look, you and Near are both new with this kind of feelings. Especially Near. You have to try to see things in his perspective. He probably thought that he didn't need anybody else in his life, and then suddenly he realized that he actually needed _you _of all people"

Mello was silent for a long time. He wasn't sure what to feel. He just couldn't believe it. Why would Near like him? He had been bullying the boy his whole life. Mello was a douchebag to him, and because of his constant envy for him, he didn't even feel bad about it.

The whole theory of Near having a crush on him crushed with that.

Matt seemed to read his thoughts, but he hadn't got any comeback for that one. The boy shifted uneasy.

"Umm….you know, maybe he's a masochist. And I'm not talking about the frick frack, thought he might be into that kind of shit too"

"Matt, you know yourself that that's feeble excuse. All his behavior could be explained just by saying that he is tired of my bullshit."

"No, Melly, trust me. He likes you."

"You have no proves" Mello muttered hopelessly.

"What? So you don't trust me?"

"Absolutely not." the blonde grouched. He was starting to feel tired and anguished. Whole situation between Near and him had given him the worst headache. And heartache.

"Fine, then- No, actually, I can prove it to you right now!" Matt had suddenly lowered his voice, and started to sound mischievous. That was enough for Mello to lift his head up to Matt.

"Just don't hit me, okay?" Matt said, and Mello had no time to wonder what that was supposed to mean, after it became way too clear what it was supposed to mean.

Matt was kissing him. Straight on the lips.

But the kiss was different from the kiss he had shared with Near in so many ways, that it was hard to count. First of all, Matt was smiling, as if the kiss was an amusing joke. And the second, it felt like Mello had kissed his own brother. Which felt gross. And wet.

Mello had no idea why Matt would do this, but he didn't kick him away like he normally would. Matt had told him not to do that, and Mello was completely sure that the kiss had a good reason behind it.

It last only a moment, then Matt's lips were gone from his lips, suddenly at his ear.

"Behind me" he whispered and then backed.

Mello shifted his eyes automatically to the door.

Pale face stared at him on the doorway. Mello saw the heartbreak in the grey abyss eyes, saw the hurt and realization. White lips were dry and parted, as if he would had said something but couldn't find his voice.

And with that, Mello understood everything. It all became clear, all made sense. In a quarter of a second Mello finally realized, and in that same time, Near had turned away and shut the door behind him.

Mello probably wouldn't have even noticed the silence around him, unless Matt's voice hadn't sound so loud.

"Hah, Jean owns me ten bucks. You better tell that I did it, Mells, because I am not going to do that kind of dares again."

Several eyes, which had been staring at them with surprise, turned now away with bored expression. _"So it was again with their stupid dares? How dull"_

Mello probably wouldn't have cared even if Matt hadn't explained the kiss like this. Everything around him seemed blurred and distant, like there was suddenly a cloud of mist around him.

Matt was right. _Matt was right. _

It was all so clear from the beginning. How could he not had gotten the picture before? It had been so damn obvious!

Never had two geniuses been so freaking blind. Mello had almost physical pain after thinking it through, how completely _slow _he had been. The signs were right in front of him, but he hadn't noticed. Or more like, he had turned his face away.

Regardless of their differences, Near and Mello had always understood each other in some way. Each other's actions were easy to understand before the kissing dare. Near lifted his eyes from his toys for Mello, because he found him interesting. Mello tormented Near partly to unload the anger grown from his envy, partly to get Near's attention.

Talking to Near was the simplest thing in the world. It wasn't boring or frustrating, like talking to some other kids in the orphanage, who Mello and Near both found too slow and foolish to discuss with. Sometimes even Matt got in his nerves for getting left behind his reasoning.

But Near had always been equal. Their thoughts ran alike, it was just the emotions that made the difference.

Mello let them affect his actions. Near did not.

Until now.

"Now do you believe me?" Matt asked quietly.

The fog vanished and Mello was pulled back from his thoughts.

"I do" He said "But you shouldn't have done that. Did you see the look in his face?"

Matt made a worried expression. "I didn't. How bad was it?"

"He…he looked …broken. I didn't know he could look like that." Mello's voice came out rough.

He had always wanted to see Near getting broken, finally showing emotions like a normal human being. But this…this was just wrong.

"What do I do, Matt?" Mello asked, helplessness taking over his voice. Now that he knew Near wanted him too…

"You find him and tell him the truth. I dare you."

"It's not even your turn to dare….." Mello said silently, knowing Matt to be right. He had to find Near and make things to be how they should.

"Just shut up and go, okay?"

Mello nodded slowly, and then, gathering the pieces of his courage, left the room to find Near.


	5. Finally

For the third time in two weeks Mello found himself at Near's door, led there yet again by his impulsions. If he had known that he would end up here, would he had turned away in the first place? He wasn't quite sure about it. After all, he didn't know the ending yet.

So he stepped in. Mello knew that if he had knocked, he would have had waited for the permission to enter for the rest of the day. Near quite obviously didn't want to see him.

He shut the door behind him. Usually the white room was calming, but now it made his head ache. A ray of light falling from the window pointed at pale figure in the middle of the room. The boy had turned his fractionally surprised gaze at Mello, when he had entered the room. Apparently, for the first time Mello had arrived without Near's awareness.

With the light behind him, glowing through his fair hair, he doubtlessly looked like an angel. Mello found it once again hard not to go and kiss him.

"What is it this time?" Near asked. His voice sounded strange, and it took a moment for Mello to realize the silent tears that were slowly falling down on the boy's pale cheeks. He wasn't sure if Near even knew of his crying, but if he did, he at least didn't show it. It was almost impossible to believe, that Near could actually do something so _normal _as crying, and it fascinated Mello more than disturbed.

Mello cleared his throat before spoke. "Matt told me to go after you…"

He realized how stupid move that was right after he'd said it. Near set his gaze on the floor, expression hardening with torment. Tears stopped streaming, sadness making space for something else.

"Right, Matt. Congratulations, by the way. You two make a great couple." Mello couldn't be sure, but he might had heard a bit jealousy under the monotone voice.

"Who said we were together?" Mello asked, lifting one eyebrow on a questioning look. He decided it would be best just to ignore Near's state, since the crying had most likely embarrassed him already.

Near frowned, still not meeting Mello's eyes.

"Oh. I thought…so it is just physical?" now Mello could definitely hear something behind the words, but he was just too taken aback for react to it.

"What?" he just said dumbly.

"Your relationship. Kissing, having a sexual intercourse at times."

Mello had to wait in silence for a moment to let it sink in. His mouth fell open as he realized that Near had really said that.

"_What?" _He burst out. "I am _not _banging Matt! Oh hell no! We're just friends"

The albino's head pounced up. He looked at Mello with bemused expression, not being able to figure out if Mello was lying and if he was, what for he would do that?

"If you have no attachment in Matt, then I don't quite understand the reason behind your kiss."

Mello was unsure what to answer. Should he tell him the same lie, that Matt had indirectly told to other orphans? Would he buy it? No, Mello couldn't do that. Matt had dared him to tell the truth, so he'd tell him.

"It was a test" Mello pouted his lips as he leaned his back on the door behind him.

Near's face looked even more confused than a moment before. Slim fingers found their way up to his hair and started twiddling one curl. The look in his eyes was distant, as if he'd tried to rewind the scene in his head.

"I cannot understand what would you achieve with such a test…"

Mello didn't answer. Sudden curiosity had risen in him, seeing Near on his detective-mode on, trying sternly put the clues together as if they were pieces in his blank puzzle. Could he figure this out with so little proofs?

But going on with tenuous evidences was what Near had always mastered. If he found enough attestation, he could end up with a conclusion that seemed the most logic, and Mello knew immediately when the boy comprehended it.

Normally so pale cheeks started to get rosy and the grey eyes widened as they moved in sync with his thoughts, his gaze sifting through the floor without seeing anything.

Mello could read him unbelievably well, when the boy finally showed his human side. _"Could it be? No, he couldn't possibly know" _Near centralized his eyes to the blonde's face, and the blush spread wider. _"He knows. But why would they do that? Why…?" _

"…Are you going to mock me?" Near asked quietly. There was a sudden exhaustion in his eyes, that made Mello uneasy. The look said clearly, _"Please, just get over with it." _

"Of what?" The blonde asked. He felt unstable at the moment. He could have just told Near what he felt, but after all he had to hear it from Near first.

It was like a game. He had chased the victory his whole life, always ending up second best. Near had taken his victories away, without even bothering. Now Mello wanted to get just this one triumph.

He knew it was selfish. He didn't care.

"I am ninety percent positive that you know" the boy had the courage to still look him in the eyes.

Mello tilted his head, frowning. They both knew it was an act, but he wasn't ready to let Near out of his agony. He wanted to _hear _it, coming directly from his lips.

"Nope, really not ringing any bells"

It was hard to tell, what Near thought now. The albino had made a motionless mask again to cover up his feelings, and just stared at Mello. They stood silent for a long time, but they felt every second that passed. And with every blink of an eye, they knew better and better who would end up winning in this one.

Eventually Near lowered his gaze, giving up.

"Will you leave me alone, if I say it aloud? Isn't that all you want?" he said almost soundlessly.

"Still don't know what you're talking about" Mello's voice matched his with volume.

The white-haired boy blinked slowly and lifted his grey eyes back to meet Mello's. He had heard some people say that grey was a blunt colour, faceless and innocuous. But when looking into Near's eyes, he could do nothing but laugh in his mind at how wrong those people were.

Grey had so many shades, and Near's eyes owned them all. It was the only thing in the boy's body, that could give away his thoughts and secret emotions, only thing he couldn't control throughout.

Now the shade was argent and the look behind it was hurt.

Near blinked again, then the words silently escaped from his lips.

"I'm in love with you, Mello."

_I'm in love with you_

Mello opened his mouth, then closed it again. Had he really said it? Yes, he had. It had sounded so clear in the silence, that Mello still heard it echoing in his mind. Something was awakening inside his chest.

The light was still glowing behind Near, making his silhouette bright. So beautiful. But in that situation, it looked like the devil in black clothes had won.

Near had said he loved him, and nothing could have made Mello happier. He felt it so strong, so vital inside him. It had been a long time since Mello was this beatific.

Then he noticed that Near had started crying again. Salty tears were pouring down his cheekbones, still making no sound, but this time Near was also shivering.

He felt the victorious sensation fading. That wasn't what Mello wanted to see. He didn't intend to hurt him again, didn't want him to cry. Mello took a few steps closer, but Near backed off.

"Please, don't hit me. You've already seen my humiliation. Would you leave now?"

"I am not going to hit you. Why are you crying?" Mello grabbed Near's arms to stop the shivering.

Near wouldn't meet his eyes, and he started to weep more profusely. At least the boy didn't try to break free.

"S-sometimes when…ones e-emotions are in a s-stressful s-state, the b-body responds….by s-shedding t-tears" he sobbed.

Mello was horrified. It wasn't supposed to go like this. He didn't mean to injure Near like that, he was just going to….

He didn't know what he had thought. Like always, he had screwed up. Stupid, selfish, arrogant like always.

Trying to save the remains of his quickly died joy, he wrapped his arms around Near and hugged him tight, hoping it to ease the younger's distress. Near didn't say anything, just nestled closer into Mello, sobbing and quivering.

Long time he just hold him. Near laid his head on his chest, listening Mello's steady heartbeat as he tried to control his wailing. Mello felt the boy's warmth against his body, relaxing him better than a cup of hot chocolate.

Gradually the shuddering stopped and the tearing ended, leaving after only wet cheeks and red eyes. Still, they didn't let go. Near probably thought that it would be the last time ever that Mello was so close to him, since the boy hold on to him so tightly. Even a little movement could start a new panic attack, and that was definitely not what Mello wanted.

It was so strange to be so close Near, in addition the albino's behavior. He had never shown so much emotion, never opened up like this, never lost his control.

_He must feel so vulnerable right now_

But he _was_ vulnerable at the moment. It was odd how sudden it had happened; Mello's grudge towards Near had vanished, and Near's sentiments had gotten over him.

"Near" Mello spoke softly, "You need to let go of me"

The boy in white pajamas hardened his hold for a moment almost desperately.

And then he let go, stepped back and turned his eyes away, anywhere that wasn't Mello. He couldn't meet his gaze. Near's face was starting to grow rosy again, but he had gathered enough self-control to put his motionless expression on.

"I…I apologize. I won't lose myself like that again. I was just-" Mello stopped Near from going on with putting his forefinger on the boys lips.

Near looked at him with an astonishment. Mello bended closer and looked straight in his silvery eyes, as he cupped the blushed face in his hands.

"Shut up, Near." he murmured, and with that, closed their lips together.

Near tasted better than he had remembered. The feeling of his creamy lips against Mello's and the silky hair where Mello had pressed his other hand made him almost scream from delectation, wondering what the hell was he doing with his life before kissing Near?

It felt perfect as long as it last, which wasn't long. Mello was shocked by the abrupt push that parted their lips and bodies away of one another.

"What the h-?" Mello exclaimed.

Near stared at him with a hopeless expression. With his face blushed and grey eyes darkened with lust, the boy looked like a wild animal. He ran his hand fingers through his soft platinum hair, as Mello stared at him shocked.

"Please, Mello. If you have no intentions to keep doing this, I beg you to stop. Don't play with my feelings….i have no clue how to deal with them, but if you kiss me again and then leave like it's a joke, I might lose my mind."

_He thinks that I'm playing with him? _

Mello was dismayed. Did Near really think that he was able to do something like that? _Of course he does_. Mello had done so bad things to Near over the few years, that nothing would surprise him.

"Near, i-" he tried to explain himself, but the boy broke through.

"Mello, please. All these years you have wanted to see me broken. Now you've managed to do that. Just…let me keep my dignity, or what's left of it."

Now Near had succeed to calm his storming feelings down enough to make them disappear from his face. The hand that few seconds ago had stroked his hair was now in tight fist on his side.

Hesitance started to get on top on Mello's feelings. In some way he had thought that only kissing Near again would suffice to get the message clear. He hadn't expected this. Near should've been able to deduce Mello's crush from the action, so that he wouldn't have to make it into words. Only thinking about saying it aloud made him nervous.

_"__Tell him the truth",_ Matt had said.

_The truth. _Mello loved him, had always loved, and now they could possibly be together if he'd just opened his mouth and spat it out. Gosh, how hard it would be? Mello started to grew mad at himself.

He had to fulfill the dare. He always had to.

"I love you" he blurted. Suddenly it was really hard to meet Near's gaze.

Even though letting it out had felt surprisingly relieving, he started to grow doubtful again. Why wasn't Near saying anything? Seamy scenario flashed in Mello's mind, in which Near started to laugh mockingly and scream at him what a fool he was to think that Near could even look at him that way.

It was huge relief when Near opened his mouth and spoke.

"You…do?" shaky voice asked. Unsure eyes caught the blonde's own gaze, and Near's mouth fell slightly open. "You do."

Moment of silence, then Near continued, frowning. "Why?"

Near had always been more foreseeable to Mello than the other way around, but the question stumped the older boy. Why?

_Why wouldn't i? You are an angel. _

"What do you mean, 'why'?"

The situation was absurd. Near had been _crying _for the thought that Mello might wouldn't like him back, and now that Mello confessed, the boy wouldn't believe it?

"I mean…why? Why would you love me? Besides the fact that you have hated me for years and haven't been quite afraid of showing it, I am not rather loveable being. My personality and appearance are not what one could call appealing. You again, could have mostly anyone who you wanted to have. Besides your aggressive attitude at times, people find you attractive and interesting. Why would you want me?"

After Near had finished his statement, Mello could do nothing but just stare at Near. He had never heard so much rubbish at once, if he didn't count the times _he _was the one who had talked. It was ridiculous. The fact that the albino wasn't even being insecure, that he really thought that he was inferior to Mello was just too absurd.

"I'll answer you right after you tell me, why? Why the hell would you love me, since I've been a huge cunt to you" Mello asked, sliding his hands in his pockets.

The younger boy didn't even flinch, as he started to talk again.

"I include myself to those people who find you interesting and attractive. Unlike most people in this orphanage, you are fascinating and rather unpredictable. And equal with me in intellectual level. Do you blame me for falling for you? Wasn't it expectable to happen, sooner or later? You are interesting in my eyes. And… do you really want me to describe in which ways I find you attractive?"

"I think I got the point" Mello muttered, little stupefied after hearing Near talking about him with such a positive tone. He inhaled deeply before opening his mouth again. "You want me to tell you why I love you? Fine. All that you said was bullshit. You're not appealing? For fuck's sake, I would go days just watching you. You're the fucking number one. In everything. Can't you see it? You're _my _number one, and I realized it just two weeks ago. I just want to-" the words got stuck in his tongue, as Near captured his lips into a soft kiss.

Mello couldn't help but lean closer as a reflect. His hands traveled again in the younger boy's small body, caressing his hips, back and hair.

_Gosh, how have I survived weeks without this?_

Although their moves were gentle against each other and the kissing was tender, the passion between them felt stronger than ever. If there had been a way to get closer each other, they would have found it.

Mello earned a weak moan from Near as he started to suck the albino's lower lip. Near wrapped his arms tighter around him, stroked his strawberry blonde hair and made small noises whenever Mello sucked harder.

They didn't let go even when they had to part to get some air. They looked at each other's eyes as they gasped air, foreheads pressed together, hands keeping the other close.

"You lied" Mello said quietly, enjoying the fervent gleam in Near's eyes "You said that you are indifferent with me. You _lied._"

"I do that sometimes" Near murmured back "But you can affect that...it's harder to lie when someone's kissing you"

"Then let me make sure you won't lie for some time, snowball"

Mello pulled the boy closer, and this time it took far longer them to separate.

.

.

Hours later they sat on Near's bed, leaning their backs on the abnormally white wall. They stared each other, still feeling a little buzzed. The tingling, euphoric sensation that had taken over them hadn't passed, and they had a feeling that it was there to stay.

Near's hair was even messier than normally, and Mello's lips were swollen.

"You didn't really answer my question, you know…." the blonde said, breaking the comfortable silence that had been surrounding then. "I was such a dick to you. Are you really that emotionless, that it didn't hurt even a little?"

Near raised his eyebrows, just a little. Mello didn't know how what he felt now that Near had turned back into his normal blankness. He wasn't mad like usually, that he knew. But seeing Near go blushed and emotional was something so wondrous, that it was kind of a disappointment when the susceptibilities started to disappear from his features.

"Oh, I didn't make it clear to you? I apologize…I just….it didn't really matter that much that you mocked me. I got your attention, and that was all I needed." Near answered.

"Still…I'm sorry" Mello leaned closer to Near and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

The white-haired boy blushed slightly, which made Mello smirk. He couldn't at least control his physical reactions.

"No, you don't have to apologize…I was so scared that if I didn't pass you in the exams, you would ignore me. Otherwise I would've let you get the highest scores…I'm sorry. I provoked you."

Mello frowned. "Don't be stupid. I want to beat you with my own credit. I don't want you to _let _me win, because it wouldn't be a victory, it would be a walkover"

"You're so stubborn" Near sighed. Mello was about to argue, but noticed the smile on Near's face, and instead kissed him again.

"And you are so apathetic" the blonde muttered as he pushed Near lying on the bed and leaped over him. Near's eyes started to glimmer dark again as Mello pillowed on him.

"But I'm still the winner here" he said with a small smile on his lips.

Mello growled and started kissing his neck, moved his lips all around it, biting and sucking, not leaving a single part of the pale skin ignored.

"I don't think so" he breathed against the clavicle pit.

"I do" Near moaned as Mello moved his lips to Near's jawline "I got you."

There was a smile on his lips as they were once again pressed against the paler ones.

.

.

* * *

.

.

Matt was cursing again at his xbox. Mello was riffling through his latest exam, making sure that the score was counted totally right.

It was a completely ordinary day at Wammy's house, a month after Mello and Near had confessed their love. There had been a exam, first one of the whole semester, to test the orphans of what they remembered from the last year.

And now Mello had counted his scores, and they were completely right. He had had 98 percent of the points, only a few from the full score as usual.

"What did you get?" Mello turned to the white-haired boy sitting next to him on the couch.

Near looked uncomfortable, not meeting the elder's gaze. He was squeezing the paper hard on his hand, clearly not wanting to give it away, but knowing that Mello would eventually get the paper, Near reached it to him silently.

Mello turned it around to see the score. And as it was so normal for Near, he had had full points.

The albino waited quietly for the reaction. He had secretly feared what would follow after their first exam results, and now was the moment of truth. Nervously he twirled a curl between his fingers.

Then Mello passed the test back to him.

"Great, but I would be worried if I were you" Mello said, smiling. "Next time I'll totally defeat you"

Near smiled back at him, almost not believing his ears. But the blonde didn't look at all bothered, maybe even more cheerful than before.

"Don't let him beat you, Near" Matt called out behind Mello "I dare you"

Mello slapped Matt on the back of his head, and Matt started to laugh again. The laugh soon turned back to cursing because the red-head lost the level.

"You know, before I found your daring-game truly annoying, but now it doesn't seem so bad anymore" Near uttered, lifting one of his toy robots up from the floor.

Matt laughed. "Yeah, that's probably because it helped you to get into Mello's pants"

Yet another slap made Matt to fail in his game. The laughing and cursing continued the rest of the day, and it made other kids to avoid the playing room, which was probably good for their own health.

Yes, it was completely ordinary day on the Wammy's house. Except for the few things, that had changed for the better.

.

* * *

/Okay, this was the last one! (: thank you to all readers, I love all of you that have bothered to read this through. And thank you for the positive feedback, they made my day!

And sorry if there's huge spelling mistakes, the whole text is written after 12 AM so don't be too hard on me B)


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